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In this article, author and cross-culture trainer Tina L. Quick discusses the transitional stages that many students go through after making the decision to study overseas
Any transition involves passing through a number of very predictable stages. The array of emotions that accompany each of these stages, while disconcerting and uncomfortable at times, are also normal and completely expected. Students transitioning to college or university need to keep in mind that, regardless of the confident faces others may be wearing, every first-year student is going through the same experience.
The difference for students who have been living outside their passport countries, but either return home or transition on to another host country for their college/university studies is that they have a double adjustment. They must not only make the transition to a new stage in life as an independent adult, but to an unfamiliar culture as well, for even their home country will be foreign to them in many respects. Knowing that the stages of adjustment are temporary and unique helps students manage the adjustment.
Transition occurs in stages. The first stage is basically life as you know it. You belong in a place, a community, an environment where you feel a sense of connection, belonging and security. The moment you become aware of an upcoming change triggers the ‘leaving stage’. This might begin when you are filling out your university applications or when those responses start coming back in. Or it may not hit you directly until you are actually packing to leave. In the recesses of your mind, life is going to irrevocably change forever. But the leaving stage is characterised by denial and ambivalence. You drag your feet making a decision about which college you want to attend. This isn’t really happening to you after all. It’s all very surreal.
Then one day it hits that you are actually leaving and you need to prepare - pack, shop, say goodbye. The leaving stage is a mixed time of celebrations and farewells. Your emotions vacillate between looking forward to your future and feeling a profound sadness at leaving your friends and community behind. Others have already taken over roles and responsibilities you used to enjoy and you may feel a bit lost or misplaced. Perhaps your family is relocating with you, so you are grieving the loss of an entire lifestyle. You may never be back to this place again. Farewells are extremely important. Be sure to say goodbye to favourite people, places, pets and possessions.
The ‘transition stage’ begins the moment you land in your new environs and is characterised by chaos. Dealing with everything, from learning your way around your new campus to banking, communications and transportation intricacies, to signing up for classes, understanding the pop culture and meeting new people is overwhelming and exhausting. Because you look and sound like your domestic peers you are expected to know how things work in your home country but are embarrassed when you don’t. Profound homesickness, fluctuating emotions, feelings of ambivalence, anxiety, self-doubt and loss of self-confidence are normal reactions to the chaos and stress of the transition stage.
What is not normal is if the sad days become more and more intense and do not go away. A deep sadness from which you cannot be distracted, and finding that you no longer find joy in the things that used to make you happy could signal the start of serious depression and you need to seek the services of your student mental health centre. Everyone needs a little help with life from time to time and highly confidential services are in place for that.
Whether it is a conscious decision or not, one day you will determine to settle in and become a part of this new place. This is the start of the ‘entering stage’. The chaos of transition has settled, but you may still be feeling a bit marginal, vulnerable and uncertain. You begin to think about making friends, building relationships and getting connected. This is the time to reach out to a mentor. Look for someone who has a positive outlook, a good reputation and is willing to introduce you and help you get connected.
The vacillating emotions of the transition stage linger on in the entering stage but slowly even out until one day you wake up and realise… you’ve arrived. Once again you feel a sense of connection, belonging and security.
Everyone goes through these stages of adjustment differently. Some will cruise through in a matter of weeks. Others will take longer. Whatever your case may be, embrace your transition journey and treat it as an adventure. As with anything, be patient with yourself and give it time.
Written by Tina L. Quick
Author of 'The Global Nomad’s Guide to University Transition'
www.internationalfamilytransitions.com
Tina Quick is a cross-cultural trainer, international speaker and author of 'The Global Nomad’s Guide to University Transition'. She is on the Board of Directors of Families in Global Transition (FIGT) and serves as Chair Person of the Program Committee. She is also a member of the Overseas Association of College Admissions Counseling. Tina works closely with colleges and universities, domestic and international schools.
